Dbsk dream: A Chinese joke about SJ going into a pet store

from the ifensi forum. man is it tiring to surf through pages and pages of assorted thread titles to look out for any sj news or what.

hokay this may be a wee bit irrelevant considering it’s not even news or updates or with photos, but it’s quite funny! i kept giggling reading it just now. i’ve translated it into english. hopefully it’s still as funny after the conversion of languages. the first few are funnier than the rest…

银赫
赫赫走进一家宠物店。见一只可爱的小狗,就去逗它，结果……被那狗狗狠狠地咬了一口~惊讶地对老板说：“为什么它咬我啊？”老板平静地答：“不要放在心上，它不是故意针对你的，它见人就咬，所以一直没人买它~”赫赫：“这样啊~好可怜哦~那我就买它了”说着伸手再去摸它，再次被咬~
（老板：这孩子真是善良啊……）

Eunhyuk
Hyukkie walked into a pet store. He saw a really cute puppy, and went over to tease it…but got bitten hard by the dog. He asked the boss, surprised, “Why did it bite me??”. The boss calmly replied, “Don’t take it to heart, it’s not that it doesn’t like you, it bites anyone it sees and that’s why no one has bought it so far~”. Hyukkie: “So it’s like that…how pitiful…I’ll buy it then”, and while he was talking he reached out to pet the puppy, AND ended up getting bitten again~
(Boss: This kid really is so kind)

东海
小海走进一家宠物店。一进去就开始自言自语，老板凑进才听清楚小海在说什么：“我已经有一只BADA了，现在再买只猫猫~买哪只呢~你叫什么名字呢？（指住一只猫问）叫你海藻？海狮？海狗？海豚……”
（老板：这孩子……疯了？）

Donghae
Hae walked into a pet store. Once he entered he started talking to himself, and only when the boss eavesdropped did he hear what Hae was saying: “I already have a Bada, now I’ll buy a kitty~which one should I buy~What’s your name? (points to a kitten and asks) Should I call you seaweed? Sealion? Seal? Dolphin?….”
(Boss: This kid…has he gone crazy?)

[the chinese names of seaweed, sealion, seal and dolphins all start with 海 which means sea]

韩庚
庚宝走进一家宠物店。问：“老板，有没有北京狗啊？”“有！”说着老板抱着一只可爱的北京狗走了过来，韩庚笑嘻嘻地对那狗说：“乖乖，爱吃北京炒饭么？爱吃我就买你了。”
（老板：我爱吃北京炒饭~其实我是庚饭~我可以做你的宠物么？）

Hangeng
Geng walked into a pet store. And asked: “Boss, do you have a Peking dog?!” “We do!” said the boss while carrying a cute Peking dog and walking towards him. Hangeng, all smiles, told the dog: “Good dog, do you like eating Beijing fried rice? If you do I’ll buy you.”
(Boss: I like Beijing fried rice~in fact I’m a Hangeng fan~can I be your pet?)

[a peking dog is an actual breed. go search for it if you're curious!]

希澈
公主走进一家宠物店。当然带着他亲爱的希范，说：“老板，我想给我的希范再另一半。”看了一圈以后腐笑~说：“老板~你这里的猫都没有我的希范好看~我不买了”然后对着自己的猫说：“哎~该是多么优秀的主人才能有这么优秀的猫啊！”
（老板：腐笑~）

Heechul
The princess walked into a pet store. Of course he brought along his dear Heebum as well, and said: “Boss, I would like to give my Heebum his other half.” After he went one round the store, he smirked and said: “Boss, your cats aren’t even as good looking as my Heebum~I’m not buying anymore” and then told his own cat: “Aish~only can such a fine master have such a fine cat!”
(Boss: *smirk*~)

始源
10元走进一家宠物店。第一句话：“老板！有10元钱的宠物买吗？”然后立刻被轰了出来~
（老板：开玩笑~10元韩币？！你买狗毛都不够~~）

Siwon
10 Yuan walked into a pet store. The first thing he said: “Boss! Is there a pet to buy for 10 yuan?” and immediately got roared/blasted out~
(Boss: What a joke~10 Korean Won?! That’s not even enough for dog fur~~)

[siwon's chinese name, 始源 sounds like 十元 which means 10 yuan, obvious from above. i don't know why chinese elfs like to make fun of that so much =X]

基范
起范走进一家宠物店。由于对宠物毛发过敏，他就只站在门口问：“老板，有什么宠物是没有毛的？”老板答曰：“很多啊~蜥蜴啊，蝎子啊，蜘蛛啊，蛇啊……”我们可爱的范范掉头就跑~
（老板：我还没说完呢捏~你可以养乌龟啊~)）

Kibum
Kibum walked into a pet store. Because he is allergic to animal fur, he just stood at the entrance and asked: “Boss, which pets are without fur?” The boss replied, deadpan: “A lot~iguanas, scorpions, spiders, snakes…..” Our cute Bummie then quickly made himself scarce~
(Boss: I haven’t even finished~you can also get a tortoise~)

强仁
强仁走进一家宠物店。高声问：“老板，有没有狸猫啊？”
（老板：MO？）

Kangin
Kangin walked into a pet store. He asked in a booming voice: “BOSS, DO YOU HAVE A WILD CAT?”
(Boss: What?)

利特
利特走进一家宠物店。他一直在看沙皮狗~老板：“你对沙皮狗那么有兴趣么？”特特：“其实也不是，只不过如果弟弟们再说我年纪大的时候我就可以说：看，它比我老很多，连皮都皱了：”
（老板：OMZ~）

Leeteuk
Leeteuk walked into a pet store. He kept looking at the Shar-Pei dog~Boss: “Are you that interested in Shar-Pei dogs?” Teukie: “Actually not really, it’s just that if my dongsaengs were ever to say that I’m old again I can say: “See, it’s so much older than me, even its skin is wrinkled.”
(Boss: *falls to the ground*~)

[OMZ is chinese internet/forum slang. it resembles a fallen figure kneeling on the ground ○|￣|＿ which is a action in response to something lame or ridiculous]

奎贤
奎贤走进一家宠物店。“老板我想买这里年纪最小的宠物，这样我就不是13个里面的老幺了~”老板指着一条金鱼说：“最小的在它肚子里面，估计过几天就出生了，你就耐心等等吧~”小13大喜，对着金鱼的肚子说：“小鱼鱼啊~你以后要叫我哥哥哦~””
（老板：今天来的都是些什么人啊~）

Kyuhyun
Kyuhyun walked into a pet store. “Boss I would like to buy the youngest pet here, this way I won’t be the youngest among the 13~” The boss pointed at a goldfish and said: “The very youngest is in its tummy, it’ll be born in a few days, you can wait patiently for that~” The smallest of 13 was overjoyed, and said to the goldfish’s tummy: “Little fishes~you must call me hyung next time~”
(Boss: Who the heck are all these people today~)

晟敏
兔子走进一家宠物店。喜欢上了一只可爱的兔子~一直抱着摸着~老板也很友善地说：“喜欢就买了吧。”兔子突然对兔子说（这话这么象绕口令啊）：“小白兔啊，你喜欢吃南瓜么？”
（老板：-_-也许你买了它以后它就不得不吃了~)）

Sungmin
The rabbit walked into a pet store. And took a liking to another rabbit~he kept carrying and petting it~the boss saw this and said friendlily: “You should buy it if you like it.” The rabbit suddenly said to the rabbit (why does this sound like a tongue twister): “Little white rabbit, do you like eating danhobak?”
(Boss: -_- maybe after you buy it it will have no other choice than to eat~)

艺声
艺声走进一家宠物店。突然指住一条金鱼大笑：“你才是大头~哈哈哈~~~老板我就买它了，大头鱼啊~回家后记得给大家示范一下什么是真正的大头~””
（老板：年轻人~你没事吧~）

Yesung
Yesung walked into a pet store. Suddenly he pointed at a goldfish and burst into laughter: “YOU’re the one with a big head~Hahaha~~~Boss I’ll get it, what a big-headed fish~when we get home you must remember to show everyone what a big head truly is~”
(Boss: Young man~are you alright~)

厉旭
厉旭走进一家宠物店。走到鸟笼前对里面的鹦鹉说：”来~我来教你们唱歌~我的声音可是很好听的哦~do re mi……你怎么不开口的啊~老板，再多拿几只鹦鹉过来！这只不听话~”
（老板：你是不是还打算训练出鹦鹉界的SJ？）

Ryeowook
Ryeowook walked into a pet store. He walked in front of a bird cage and said to the parrot inside: “Come~let me teach you how to sing~my voice is really melodious you know~do re mi….why aren’t you opening your mouth~boss, being a few more parrots here! This one is so disobedient~”
(Boss: you’re not quite possibly planning to train out the SJ of parrots?)

神童
神童走进一家宠物店。看见一只可爱的小猪猪~于是肉肉就问：“老板，他爱吃五花肉么？不爱吃我就买它了~这样就它就不会缠着我要我最心爱的五花肉了~”
（老板：其实我更怕你哪天心情不爽了就把它做成五花肉~）

Shindong
Shindong walked into a pet store. He saw a cute little pig~so Chubby asked: “Boss, does he like eating fatty meat? If he doesn’t I’ll buy him~that way he won’t go after my beloved fatty meat~”
(Boss: Actually I’d be more terrified of the possibility that you’ll turn it into fatty meat any day you’re feeling down)

PS: here’s a funny picture i found just now, from the forum too, i think. no need for explanations on what it is xD